I think I'm allergic to condoms. Every time I use them, even trying different brands, I get itchy and uncomfortable. What can I do?
- Uncomfortable & Worried
Dear Uncomfortable,
A few things...are you using a lubricant that contains, or condoms lubricated with, a spermicide called Nonoxynol-9 (N-9)? If you do not know, you should definitely find out. N-9 is a harsh chemical spermicide that is the source of many allergic reactions that occur when using condoms. You can ask you health care provider if you might be allergic to N-9; if you, all you need to do is use condoms and lubricants that do not contain that chemical. In general, we do not recommend using Nonoxynol-9 at all.
If that does not solve your problem, then you may actually be allergic to latex, the material from which most condoms are made. In that case, I would recommend trying the Durex Avanti or the FC Female Condom, which are both made of polyurethane. Polyurethane, as opposed to latex, is not a natural product; it is hypo-allergenic, heat conductive (it will warm to your body temperature), and can be used safely with oil-based substances. Lambskin condoms, like Trojan's Naturalamb, might also be an option; but understand that lambskin condoms DO NOT protect against Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's). They can only be used to prevent pregnancy.
If you have not done so already, be sure to contact your health care provider and let him/her know about the allergic reactions you have experienced.
Juliet In Pajamas
There are actually several good options for you...
American Social Health Association (ASHA)
ASHA hosts a chat-room for people with HPV; it is moderated by a facilitator, and has proven to be a great way to connect with supportive people in the
privacy of your own home. The chat takes place Monday through Friday, from 5-6pm. For more information, send an e-mail to hpvnet@ashastd.org.
Planned Parenthood of New York
Planned Parenthood has offices in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and the Bronx and, as I understand it, they were recently recruiting people to form an HPV support group. For more information, you can check out their website or give them a call at 212.274.7200.
Other great resources to have:
New York Health Department (NYHD)
phone: 212.788.4415
National STD and AIDS Hotline
phone: 1.800.227.8922
Once your find yourself a support system that you are comfortable with, let us know if your group would like to host a safer sex workshop. We have a wonderful community outreach program through our New York store, and all the events are completely free of charge. Give us a call at 212.691.9442 and ask for Joy Lynn.
Absolutely! I would suggest that you take a look at the Condomania Pleasure Pack. It is an amazing assortment of condoms and lubricants, neatly organized in a hot box (if you will), and packaged with a booklet that describes each piece in fun-filled detail. It even has a way to rate the prophylactics he has used, so it will be easy to re-purchase the ones he liked the most.
The Condomania Pleasure Pack can be purchased from our website and sent to you, or directly to your nephew at college (in discreet packaging, of course).
Congratulations on being such a cool aunt!
-Juliette In Pajamas
Ms. SP,
You may want to try the Kameleon Tri-Colored Condoms. They are lots of fun to look at, and because of all the coloring they are actually quite a bit thicker at the top of the shaft and at the head (where nerve concentration is the greatest); I have known people to find them very effective in climax control.
Beyond that, I think it is important to take things slowly. If your boyfriend starts getting too excited, take a break from touching around the genital area until he feels like he can continue without ejaculating right away. Work like this on building up his tolerance, until you reach a point where you are both satisfied.
A: Sex can be a difficult subject to discuss without feeling like you are "corrupting" certain populations, especially in regards to youth and their parents or guardians. It is important to remember that all of the information we are supplying as sexual health educators is based in common beliefs that we all
share: respecting and caring for yourself as well as the people you love, whether they be your family, your friends, or your partners.
If you are concerned about a lack of prior relationships with your parent population, you may want to begin with a type of mixer for parents of young teens. At that mixer, you could facilitate a discussion about common concerns they have with their growing children (possibly emphasizing issues surrounding puberty), and then generate a list from the issues brought to the table.
You can then make the parents aware of your resources (ie. Condomania, Planned Parenthood, local churches, etc.) and, using that generated list, you would be able to program for them accordingly based on their requests. It may feel more organic and community-based for them, letting them know that they are a necessary part of the planning process and showing them that no one is trying to "push" any ideas that they did not ask to learn about; you are simply providing them with knowledge and a wide variety of options, based on their common concerns as parents.
As a sexual health advocate and educator in New York City, I completely understand your concerns and wish you very the best of luck! Please let us know how it goes...
Do two (heterosexual) people who are HIV+ have to use a condom if they are just having sex with each other and the girl is on birth control?
- Just Wondering
Just Wondering,
Yes, yes, absolutely yes :) Even if both partners are HIV+, they should always use protection during sex. It is possible to pass on different strains of HIV, allowing the virus to mutate and become much more difficult to treat. This may also make both partners more susceptible to opportunistic infections.
We usually recommend Inspiral condoms supplemented by Astroglide lubricant as the best protection against transmission of HIV. The InSpiral is a thicker condom that generates more sensation by the nature of it's shape; Astroglide is a water-based lubricant that helps to inhibit the transmission of HIV, just by the nature of it's molecular structure.
Juliet In Pajamas