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  To quote from Men's Confidential, "If testing the feel of condoms isn't wildly subjective, then we don't know what is." Despite the obvious, various magazines over the years have attempted to use personal experience as a measuring stick to rate one condom against the next. And while we agree that a consensus of experience can effectively sort condoms into the categories of "worth trying" and "don't bother," in the end the true test is going to be yours. | |
Men's Health
November 2003
by Mike Zimmerman | WHETHER IT'S DUREX, TROJAN, OR A BOUTIQUE BRAND LIKE TRUSTEX, the mission of every condom company's design team is the same: Transform an erection-wilting necessity into a slip-on power tool. But do naughty nubs necessarily add up to his-and-her orgasms? We asked our 41-year-old test subject and his wife of 3 years to put the latest generation of love gloves through their paces. Here's how the condoms—and the couple—scored.
Scoring scale:1-5, with 5 being the next best thing to naked. | | THE PROMISE: "Unique texturing...designed to help provide extra sensation for a woman's most sensitive area." HE SAID: SCORE:5
"She really seems to love it, which starts a feedback loop of audible appreciation—the more she enjoys it, the better I go, so the more she enjoys it. Sheer enough so you think that you're the one making the difference." SHE SAID: SCORE:5
"Feels very 'mmm.' Even though the ribs are on the bottom, I'm feeling a wonderful tickle at the top of my head. Fuller somehow. Wonderful."
| | THE PROMISE: "The closest thing to nothing at all." HE SAID: SCORE:4.5
"Wow, excellent heat transference. Feels as thin as water, but couldn't they find a brighter shade of pink?" SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5
"Mmm. So what's he want? Raiders colors? Feels great, looks cute."
| | THE PROMISE: "...a raised texture for added stimulation...thin for sensitivity, providing excitement and pleasure for you and your partner." HE SAID: SCORE:4
"It's thin enough to make you check that it's still on. But, as with the Pleasure Mesh, I was unaware of any guy-side benefit to the rubber rumble strips." SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5
"One of the easiest-unrolling condoms we tested. And once on the job, the ribs added a subtle but welcome backbeat."
| | THE PROMISE: "...over 300 passion XXXs designed to stimulate both partner's most sensitive areas." HE SAID: SCORE:3
"Nicely lubed, so it goes on and in easily, but after a while, felt like a wet suit. Yanked it off in midswim. And as for the pleasure mesh, if there was any on my side, I couldn't feel it." SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5
"Made me say, 'Ah!' Sleek lines and plentiful lube made for a quick slide to the plate, and the mesh provided a nice thrumming massage."
| | THE PROMISE: "Hundreds of raised studs add intensity to your expereince by providing extreme sensation for your partner." HE SAID: SCORE:4
"Feels as if you've been shallacked with vibrating armor, which provides a nice psychological boost but no special physical benefit." SHE SAID: SCORE:3
"Feels weird, and kind of distracting. Sort of like sliding down stairs on your butt."
| | THE PROMISE: "...designed with a special 'TWIST' at the closed end, to help stimulate both partners in their most sensitive areas." HE SAID: SCORE:2.5
"If there's anything special going on, it's all on her side. Feels a little thick to me." SHE SAID: SCORE:2.5
"'Twisted' is right. Feels like I sat on a slinky. The spirals might be too far apart; it feels as if there's a 30-second delay after each one. Could be pleasurable, I guess."
| | THE PROMISE: "Just expose to light for 30 seconds, then prepare for a night to remember!" HE SAID: SCORE:1
"Expose it to light before or after it's on? Just to be safe, I tried both, meaning I stood in the bathroom looking at my watch, while the big hand rapidly became the little hand." SHE SAID: SCORE:1
"What the hell is he doing in the bathroom?"
| | THE PROMISE: "Comes in cola, chocolate, banana, grape, strawberry, mint, and vanilla." HE SAID: SCORE:1
"Not that oral sex has ever been an issue, but it's nice feeling like you're making it a treat. Until..." SHE SAID: SCORE:1
"Ugh. The first taste was surprisingly authentic, but within seconds, it turned into a nauseating mix of tropical and auto-shop flavors. Like someone slipped a tire patch into your fruit salad."
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